GHOSTBUSTERS (2016) - A Quickie Review

I never got around to seeing it in theaters, but now you can rent it, and so I did. So what's the verdict? Criminally underrated? Is my childhood still intact? Does having four women ruin EVERYTHING??
Well, let's cross the streams and dig in.

Spoiler Warning - self explanatory warning, I think. 

Let's cast aside, for a moment, the idiotic rants and outrage over casting this movie with women. Let's disregard the rampant disgusting behavior, misogyny and racism that cast a pall over this movie. Let's forget that remaking beloved classics is a tricky business, and just try to examine this movie as objectively as possible, and ask the question: Is it a good movie?

No. No, it's not.

That statement has nothing to do with the female cast - (I'm a big fan of three of the four women, but I've never really been into Melissa McCarthy - her comic sensibilities just don't do anything for me) - and everything to do with the movie they're in. It's lazy, sloppily written, tonally all over the place, poorly directed and exhibits many of the negative aspects that cause people to stereotypically bash remakes and sequels. Paul Feig's 'Ghostbusters' follows a lot of the same plot beats as the 1984 original, but "upgrades" the special effects. But new SFX is not enough of a reason to remake a movie, so I'm left wondering...why?

Aside from being sort of pointless, it also commits THE cardinal sin of movies...it's boring. At one point, I happened to notice that I was 42 minutes in before I laughed out loud (it was at Leslie Jones' Queens crack - and for someone who didn't like the movie, Leslie Jones was easily my favorite part, so all the repugnant hate that's been thrown her way is fucking ridiculous). A third of the movie passed me by without causing any sort of emotional reaction. That's not good. Part of it is that the story itself just didn't pull me in, but another, larger reason is that the jokes are just aren't funny. They're broad, silly, predictable, and kind of all over the place. Kate McKinnon is a hilarious woman, yet her performance seems like she just kept getting notes to "do it goofier!" Wiig has the capacity to be completely insane, but for the most part, she plays her character completely straight. In fact, she and McCarthy's characters are almost interchangeable.

The bottom line is they simply weren't given enough to do, and it often felt as though the story was relying on the viewers liking the actors instead of the characters. The script even manages to make Chris Hemsworth - a guy I think has real comic talent - kind of unlikeable. I get what they were trying to do - turn the pretty-but-dumb secretary trope on its head AND mix in a little of the Dana/love-interest-turned-villain, too, but it just doesn't work. Hemsworth doesn't play ditzy so much as he plays unbelievably stupid to the point of being annoying. And while turning him into a villain-via-possession is an interesting idea, any sense of danger he'd ostensibly give off is pretty well undermined by his dance number (yes, there's a dance number), and the villain's desire to create kooky looking ghosts rather than create any actual danger.

Things happen for little or no reason, as opposed to being driven by the plot. Sure, seeing Times Square reverted back to it's 70's incarnation seems cool, but what purpose does it serve? I mean, the main bad guy (because the movie has to have a human villain - for now, anyways, as the post-credits stinger references Zuul for a never-gonna-happen sequel) is hardly developed at all, and in the end, when he assumes a massive form, the stand-in for the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man, he is felled by, wait for it...a shot to the balls. High comedy, indeed.

And though Paul Feig, the director, isn't the one who is actually doing all the SFX/CGI rendering, it's his approval that these things need, and I can't imagine why he said "yes...this ultra-bright neon look is exactly what we want." In a way, it reminded me of George Lucas, and the Jabba the Hutt scenes added into the original Star Wars - CGI that is so obviously CGI that it takes me out of the movie-watching experience and makes me wonder...why?

The answer IS Paul Feig. It's Feig who partnered with Katie Dippold to write this script, Feig who approved the finished product, who shot the film, edited it and finally wrapped it up and said "this is done". The failure of this film isn't in the casting of women, or in the idea itself, it's in the half-assed execution of it. The failure is on Paul Feig, who mistook his idea for a Ghostbusters reboot for a good idea.


FINAL SCORE - 4/10

SUPERGIRL, SEASON ONE - A Quickie Review

It took time and effort and a network change and a promise to integrate it more into the Arrowverse, but I finally gave the first season of 'Supergirl' a chance. And I'm actually quite glad I did. Let's go to the only bar/coffee shop/restaurant in town and discuss it!

SPOILER WARNING - We're breaking down the major plot points and characters of the entire season, so...duh. There gon' be spoilers. 

Sometime last summer, I caught a bootleg of the pilot of 'Supergirl' and it was not impressive. Mostly, what it reminded of me of was that SNL sketch where Scarlett Johansson plays her Black Widow character but in a rom-com version of a superhero movie. How, oh how, does the strongest woman on earth manage her career as a lowly, underappreciated, abused assistant AND her crush on the new boy at work AND her obliviousness to the other guy at work who is obviously in love with her? It...was...rough. It felt at times like Ally McBeal, if she'd been from Krypton (and having Calista Flockhart play the bossy boss, Cat Grant, didn't help matters) I watched a couple of the first episodes when they aired on CBS, but didn't watch another until Grant Gustin crossed over in episode 18.

But when word came down that the show would be moving to the CW this fall, that Supergirl herself would be part of the now-annual crossover episodes, and that the series would aim to be more integrated into the Arrowverse as a whole, I felt compelled to give it a second shot. It was available on Netflix, so I started over again.

I am very glad I did.

Oh, there are some problems, to be sure. Some of the vibe from the weak pilot lingered for too long, the show occasionally looked cheap (while the Red Tornado episode is fantastic, the android itself looks pretty half-assed) and any time they relie on romantic entanglements to drive the plot, the show's momentum ground to a halt. But the show eventually found it's footing, and developed the characters in a way that made them enjoyable to watch, even when the week's major plot didn't feel so strong.

Look at that face! She's so sweet!

Let me start out by saying that Melissa Benoist is a wonderful Supergirl. She's plucky, sweet, and has the sort of "aw, shucks" face that makes you both like her and believe that she's putting on a distracting act in the same way Clark Kent does every day. Though the season starts out with her somewhat boring struggle to control her powers and her love life, her character evolves in a much more compelling way as the show goes on. One of the strongest episodes (the Red Tornado one) finds Kara having a difficult time dealing with her anger. The episode focuses on that anger so closely that when it's revealed that she's actually struggling with overwhelming grief, it is somehow a combination of surprising, obvious, and heartbreaking. Of course, she'd still be dealing with the loss of her parents, her culture and her world. She isn't Superman - she remembers Krypton, and she feels its absence much moreso than Clark. It's a fascinating concept for the show to explore, and provided a much needed boost of realism and pathos.

Other characters are fleshed out pretty successfully, too. Calista Flockhart's Cat Grant goes from one-dimensional bitch/boss to compelling and sympathetic mother figure to both Kara and Supergirl. One episode finds her believing that Kara IS Supergirl and as a viewer, I almost felt like, "well, maybe she should just tell Cat the truth." Chyler Leigh plays Kara's adoptive sister Alex. She doesn't get as much to do besides escort Kara into the world of the D.E.O. (more on that later) but she gives Kara someone to talk to, and narratively, that helps in the same way it helped for Batman to have a Robin. Heroes don't often just talk to themselves, so when they have another character whom they implicitly trust, they will let you know what's on their mind. Alex is a way into Kara's psyche.

Then there are the two guys, Winn (short for Winslow Schott, Jr, aka Toyman's son, which comes out in a particularly strong episode) who is in love with Kara, and Jimmy, er...James Olsen, fresh outta Metropolis, trying to make a name for himself out from under Superman's shadow, and with whom Kara enjoys a strong flirtation. Neither one of those plot lines is particularly compelling, but while Winn eventually makes himself useful by being the resident IT genius (think Cisco/Felicity) James doesn't really go anywhere as a character, and exists solely as someone for Kara to pine after. And that falls flat. I'm not sure if that's on the actor, Mehcad Brooks, or the writing, but either way, his character just doesn't work*. Elsewhere, Peter Facinelli brings his natural sleaziness to the recurring villain of Maxwell Lord. A stand-in of sorts for Lex Luthor, Lord hates Supergirl simply because she's alien and he don't trust her. That's. About. It. But he gets the job done, so I can't knock him too hard.

*Supergirl's second season premiere was this week, and it feels like the writers were just like "fuck it, it ain't working" because Kara basically dumps James with a "yeah, just not vibing you anymore. Sorry. #Friendzone" I don't have ill will for Mehcad Brooks, but if he leaves the show, I'm fine with it.

But I'm saving the best of the supporting characters for last. And that is David Harewood who plays D.E.O. chief Hank Henshaw, aka J'onn J'onzz aka MARTIAN FREAKIN' MANHUNTER! And boy, he does a wonderful job. His character evolves a great deal during the season, from no-nonsense boss, to mysterious boss, to secretive boss, to accomplice boss, to captive, fugitive, ally and back to boss. Harewood has a couple of really strong episodes, in the flashbacks focusing on the near-extinction of his race, and his first meeting with Kara and Alex's father (Lois and Clark's Superman, Dean Cain!). His stoic face and baritone voice gives those episodes a real pathos, and easily make him my second favorite character on the show. I don't think it was common knowledge that J'onn was going to be part of this show, but the slow reveal that he's a major character was done well, and goes a long way to making 'Supergirl' feel like a DC Universe show instead of just a one-hero world.

I haven't mentioned the season's primary villains yet; the kryptonian's Astra and Non - Kara's maternal aunt and her husband; and the coluan (Brainiac's race!) Indigo. While Astra's conflicted emotions about warring with her niece make her interactions with Kara somewhat interesting, Non and Indigo are pretty much lame. And Laura Vandervoort's blue make-up looks both cheap and like some terrible, unlicensed Brainiac knock-off. The plot of the season's big bads' is pretty weak, but thankfully, there's so much more happening on a weekly basis that their lightweight-ness doesn't hurt the series too bad.

Bottom line, this show got off to a promising start, but still has room to grow. And I think changing over to the CW might give it the boost it needs to put it on par with 'Arrow' and 'Flash'. They've already got strong and likeable characters, they just need to give them more to do. I feel being out of the overtly family-friendly confines of CBS is just the ticket. So I'm glad I was wrong when I dismissed it in the beginning, and I'll be tuning in from now on.


FINAL SCORE - 7/10

'Supergirl' now airs on The CW, Monday evenings at 8/7c

LUCIFER, SEASON 1 - A Quickie Review

From the minds of Neil Gaiman and Mike Carey comes...a Jerry Bruckheimer produced TV series about the devil?? Huh?

Spoiler Warning - for the TV series only, though really, there's not much to spoil. 

'Lucifer' the comic is a dense, cerebral, thoroughly serious and brooding exploration of the character of the one-time lord of Hell. A supporting player in Neil Gaiman's 'The Sandman: A Season of Mists', Lucifer Morningstar is bored and disillusioned by the realization that he's still playing a part in God's plan. He abandons hell, no longer interested in the torment of the damned and relocates to Los Angeles, where Mike Carey's spin-off series picks up. Carey's series goes way off the deep end, with angelic duels, japanese demons, the machinations of hellish aristocracy, alternate dimensions, the birth of a new God, and Armageddon itself. Amazing though it is, as it's written, 'Lucifer' would be unfilmable. Yet now it's a TV series about to enter its second season.

One of these Lucifers has no penis.

Developed by Tom Kapinos (whose résumé includes the stunningly vapid and absurd, if not still amusing 'Californication') and Jerry Bruckheimer (the man primarily responsible for bringing us Michael Bay, so insert "real devil" jokes here) 'Lucifer' the TV series abandons all but the  barest bones of the premise and resets the deeply philosophical series as a largely light-hearted police procedural.

Still based out of his swanky bar called Lux (though it's now a hoppin' nightclub instead of a elegant piano bar) the former King of Hell is profoundly different from his comic counterpart. So different in fact, that it's nearly pointless to compare the two, because there's really nothing to compare (It's like trying to compare Affleck's Batman to Adam West's - you can try, but why bother?). But can we still appreciate a show that bears little resemblance to the source material? 'Preacher' strayed, but just wasn't very good. 'Outcast' didn't stray very far, but had a great first season. So where does 'Lucifer' fall on that spectrum?

The answer is probably closer to failure than success. Yet I can't completely write it off and tell you that it's atrocious and I hated it. Because I don't. I can't say it's good, but what I can tell you is that it has one solidly good thing going for it, and that's the devil himself, played by Welsh actor Tom Ellis. Getting by solely on his charm, Ellis plays Lucifer as an unrepentant hedonist who finds himself drawn into the intrigue surrounding the various humans he comes into contact with. And the pilot serves him up a human he finds fascinating in Detective Chloe Decker, played by Lauren German. In possession over the power to make people confess their deepest desires and make women swoon with minimal effort, Lucifer finds himself curious why Det. Decker seems to be totally immune to his "charms" (yet in a funny bit, not immune to Amenadiel's, which pisses off Lucifer mightily) This sort of romantic chemistry which mixes sexual attraction with genuine affection gives their chemistry a very clichéd will they/won't they vibe which will eventually cause problems when Chloe starts to fully understand who Lucifer really is. 

Chloe Decker and Lucifer Morningstar

German is one of those actresses who just flat-out looks like an actress. It's unfortunate for her, because I don't for one second buy her as a cop, or as a mom. But she has enough chemistry with Lucifer that it's tolerable. Ellis plays Lucifer as a wide-eyed and eager helper, someone with absolutely no filter (he frequently and casually tells Chloe the truth about his divine origin and hellish nature, but he does it with such cheer and forthrightness that she thinks he's just being a weirdo) who gives in to every impulse, expresses every thought, and is devoted to a new god: fun. Chloe, on the other hand, is very clearly the straight-man to Lucifer's almost zany sidekick. When they're just talking, they do have a good rapport, and it's funny that he's supremely uncomfortable around children and treats Chloe's daughter the way one might treat an annoying dog. Yet when they're "working" it just seems entirely implausible that she'd tolerate his endless interference.

And so we can now touch on the low-point of the series, which is the policing aspect. There's no other way to put it...it's boring as hell. Nearly every single episode features a murder and a whodunit, and not a single one of them was interesting. It also undermines the entire reason Lucifer abandoned Hell; though he was sick of torturing humans for all eternity, now he somehow finds himself compelled to track down the guilty and make sure they face "justice". It just doesn't work, however, because he almost never uses his power to either expose the bad guys or kill them. Instead he just kinda follows Chloe along, occasionally spouting uncomfortable exposition. It's a weakness of the series that seriously damages its chances at greatness.

Wayne Palmer stars as the angel Amenadiel

Yet there are interesting parts of the show. Whenever the story just focuses on the interaction of the main characters - Lucifer, Decker, Lucifer's sometime paramour, Mazikeen (nicknamed Maze), his antagonistic and angelic brother, Amenadiel, and Lucifer's therapist, Dr. Martin (oh yes, Lucifer has a therapist and their back-and-forth is certainly a highlight of the series) the stories tend to thrive. When it explores the idea that Lucifer hated being in charge of hell, and that he never wanted to torture the human souls that ended up there, but they literally brought it on themselves, then it shows glimpses of Gaiman's and Carey's original ideas. When they dig into the mythology, the show thrives. But then Lucifer repeatedly shows up at various crime scenes, while no other cops seem to care or mind that a civilian is butting in, and any previous momentum comes to a screeching halt.

As frequently annoyed as I was, 'Lucifer' is a show I'll keep watching. It's a show that can be pretty good, at times, though I don't know if it can ever be great. It's entertaining enough and it hints at some ideas that can elevate it above the police schlock that hinders it. I can't say for sure that I'll review it regularly when season two kicks off next month, but I'll watch it and maybe check in a few times throughout the season. Especially with Tricia Helfer and Michael Imperioli joining the cast - I love those guys. I certainly hope they find a narrative sweet spot. The show can't coast on charm forever.


FINAL SCORE - 6/10


Lucifer returns to Fox, Monday Sept. 19 at 9/8c

PLANET OF THE APES (1968) - A QUICKIE REVIEW

Fathom Events is doing their thing again this summer by showing some old movies at various local theaters. Yesterday's feature? Only one of the greatest works of sci-fi in the history of ever.

Spoiler Warning - This post contains damn dirty spoilers. You've been warned.

What can I say about 'Planet of the Apes' that hasn't already been said? It's a masterpiece of allegorical science-fiction, combining ideas of author Pierre Boulle with the sinisterly twisted mind of Rod Serling. A sci-fi space adventure, touching on everything from racism, sexism, ageism, environmentalism, and the anti-establishment ideals of the late sixties, you wouldn't think a movie that centers around a world inhabited by talking Apes would be so politically relevant, but damn if it ain't. 

And though some of the dialogue and style of the film seems dated (the make-up effects seem laugable now, yet still pretty effective, and the three Ape leads all bring their performances out through the foam masks), the ideas behind it certainly aren't. In fact, when you start thinking about Dr. Zaius in terms of some of today's highest-profile politicians and parties, he seems like less and less of an unbelievable intelligent ape, and more and more like...oh...a tea-party candidate. Zaius professes to protect science, yet rejects it at every turn, protects his "faith" with violence, threats of litigation, and tyranny, and hides his deepest fears behind his power, claiming it is for the greater good. All while possessing an uncanny skill at not choking on his own hypocrisy. Sound like anyone you know?

Charlton Heston, never considered one of the more subtle actors, has a wonderful character arc, too. He starts off the film all full of his smug, nihilistic bluster, convinced of his own superiority to his teammates, yet ends up essentially in a committed relationship and in deep shock and mourning for his lost planet. You might also consider the anger he feels at a human world destroyed by itself, and then contrast that with the "cold dead hands" political position of his later life...you know, if you wanted to.

And the ending...my god, the ending. Even when you know it's coming - and I did, before I ever saw the whole movie, I knew how it ended - it's still a powerful and sickening feeling that washes over you when you see the final fate of modern man. The ending elevates an already fantastic film into something that would eventually become iconic. 'Planet of the Apes' is smart, well-constructed, biting, satiric, suspenseful, creepy, and above all a damn good movie. 

And filled with damn, dirty apes!

FINAL SCORE - 9/10

TIM BURTON'S BATMAN - A Quickie Review

This movie was so anticipated they didn't even need the title on the poster

Words cannot describe the excitement, the desperation that gripped me in the summer of 1989. I was 8 years old, Batmania had taken the nation by storm. It was still a time when people stood in lines outside the theater, a time when that line would wrap around the building and you knew, based on that line, something huge had just opened. But being 8, I had to rely on my mom to take me to see it, and she was NOT an easy sell. I didn't see it opening weekend. I'm not even sure I saw it the second weekend. I remember having to nag for days on end to get her to relent, to drop her doubts about the violence and take my sister and me to the movies. I was so excited to go, and I desperately wanted to wear my new Batman t-shirt, but it wasn't clean (I didn't plan ahead in those days) so I took a shoestring and tied a little Batman plush doll (see right) around my neck to show my enthusiasm. I got compliments on it, too.

I was blown away. It was just so freaking fun and cool and exciting and everything I could have hoped for. When it came out on VHS a few months later (November, I think, of '89, which was a really fast turnaround back then. Movies usually took several months, if not over a year to hit the home video market) I would get home from school, sit down, and literally watch 'Batman' from beginning to end. I did this for weeks.

So I'm saying to you, this is a movie I grew up loving. Prince's death a couple of weeks ago inspired me to watch the movie again. I had an old DVD, but now my life demands only the finest in blu-ray for my favorite movies, so I decided to upgrade my catalog and re-examine my first cinematic experience with the Batman. Here we are almost 27 years later, and it still holds up pretty well.

Unlike the 1992 sequel, Tim Burton's idiosyncracies are toned down here, in a grim and grimy adaptation of the Dark Knight. Not beholden to canon or continuity, Burton's film took many liberties with the Batman mythos, but in the context of the movie, they mostly work. There are two main gripes with this film that I have: Vicki Vale and Bruce Wayne's love story is too rushed, and her dialogue with him is very trite; and the revelation that in this world, the Joker is originally a sadistic and narcissistic gangster named Jack Napier, who killed Bruce Wayne's parents, which is just too coincidental. Obviously, people had problems with it because it's a violation of canon, but aside from that, it doesn't really feel like a necessary thing. Batman should defeat the Joker and probably even kill him just based on all the horrific crimes he commits during the movie.

But those are fairly minor gripes and they certainly do not temper my admiration for the wonderful feeling of atmosphere that pervades the entire movie. Gotham is a heavy, dark place, scary, dangerous, full of lowlifes and criminals. It seems like the kind of place that definitely would spawn some kind of avenging angel. Burton does a wonderful job of creating a scenario that seems believable, so that you're not rolling your eyes at a man dressed like a giant, armored bat, and another man prancing around and giggling in clown make up. Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson both bring their A-game to the affair, with Keaton seeming so natural as a brooding vigilante who wears the mask of a millionaire socialite. Nicholson brings a sort of slapstick dark comedy to his role as the Joker (something that would be avoided entirely by Heath Ledger's turn in 2008) which made him the undeniable star of the movie. I mean, the dude has top billing over the man playing Batman.

And I haven't even gotten to the wonderful production design, creating a badass batsuit, the oppressive cityscape itself, and of course, the amazing Batmobile. And there's Danny Elfman's iconic and distinctive score, which is still one of my favorite movie scores. Elfman's music is coupled with Prince's experimental blend of rock/funk/pop, providing a crazy sound mix that totally makes two scenes in particlar; trying to imagine the Joker's vandalism of the museum, or his manic energy during his murderous parade without Prince's music is not only impossible, it's boring.

It's not perfect, and it's not my favorite Batman movie, but I think 'Batman' is a great snapshot of a time and a place in American history, and my own life. And I think it's the best possible movie that could have been made at that time. It holds up very well so many years later.


FINAL SCORE - 7.5/10

PURPLE RAIN - A Quickie Review

The sudden death of Prince last week has affected me much more than I would have ever expected. I was never what you might call a fan of his work, but maybe more of an admirer. I enjoyed seeing him perform at the Super Bowl. I found his interviews very interesting, and definitely felt like he had a prodigious talent.

So Saturday night, I was able to see a vehicle for that prodigious talent in 1984's 'Purple Rain'. This is by no means a great movie. The acting is over the top, the main story is fairly simple and definitely very 80's - bad guy is trying to push out the good guy, good guy must perform some Herculean task in the finale to defeat the bad guy's efforts, all underscored by a cat-and-mouse style love story. In this semi-autobiographical tale, The Kid (Prince) is a talented performer heading up his band, The Revolution, in Minneapolis' famed First Avenue nightclub. While he's definitely got the musical chops to be a great act, his ego and attitude alienate the club owner, his band mates, his rival (Morris Day and The Time) and his new lady friend Apollonia (Apollonia Kotero). Throughout the story, The Kid's music underlines the plot (especially When Doves Cry and Darling Nikki) and when he finally writes and then sings Purple Rain at the end, he is overcome by the power of all the emotions he's been trying to hold in check, and it comes out in a very moving performance.

As a film alone, it has lots of flaws, but as a vehicle to showcase Prince's talent, Purple Rain is amazing. When he's on stage (which is a lot of the time), he's absolutely magnetic, and it makes me regret never having seen him live. Darling Nikki is especially effective in showcasing his musical skills, raunchy lyrics, and dancing moves. It's a fun movie, silly most of the time, yet definitely has some really dark moments, and explores themes of emotional conflict in a particularly visceral way. I had a really good time with this movie.

FINAL SCORE - 7/10

BLADE - A Quickie Review

With the success of 'Deadpool', the upcoming R-rated cut of 'Batman v Superman', and the continuing rumors that 'Suicide Squad' is flirting with that line between PG-13 and R, it's time we looked back on the original R-rated superhero. The Daywalker himself, Blade.

If you look at a movie through the lens of what the director is wanting to do, then 'Blade' is an unqualified success. Director Stephen Norrington wants to give you a fun, thrilling ride through a film that trades it's stock in equal parts "cool" and "badass". Seemingly born to play this role, Wesley Snipes plays it completely straight, but still as if he knows he's the hero of the story. The cool, badass hero. When cops shoot at him instead of the bad guy, he shouts "motherfucker, are you outta your damn mind??" as if the cops forgot he was the star of this picture. Stephen Dorff too, as the villain Deacon Frost, exudes such confidence in his role because Frost himself absolutely loves being the bad guy. He dresses cool, he has cool hair, a disdain for the vampire authority, and a whole band of groupies who treat him like a rock star. Any time you question the genuineness of the movie, here comes Kris Kristofferson or Donal Logue to say something with such casual normalcy, it puts you back at ease so you can continue the ride. I mean, this is a movie that casts Udo Kier as a vampire chairman of the board. And anytime you have Udo Kier in a role, you're not going for subtlety.

The action scenes are immensely fun, as it is anytime you have a hero who's just really good at his job. And Blade IS really good at killing vampires in ways that look amazing. Gunplay, swordplay or just good ol' martial arts badassery, no one is a match for Blade until the very end. And even then, it's not like you think he's going to lose the climactic fight. He's Blade, for god's sake! He defeats the bad guy, spouts of a one-liner than makes no goddamn sense at all, and you're still smiling ear to freakin' ear, because you've had such a good time.

FINAL SCORE 7.5/10

How can you root against this shit-eating grin??